A Lifetime of "Acceptance"

I'll admit it, I watch Lifetime movies.  Trading in their usual sappy love story for a tale of high school angst,  the Lifetime television network recently aired an original movie entitled "Acceptance" based on Susan Coll's novel of the same name.  The novel has sat on my bookshelf for a while and now warrants a real read.

The satirical yet heartwarming story follows three suburban DC high schoolers who are in the midst of the college admissions process.  Taylor, the main character, is attempting to balance her parents' crumbling marriage, downward grades, unreasonable parental expectations, and her own self-image.  Her former beau, affectionately nicknamed "AP Harry" by his peers because he took the most AP classes possible, changed his daily life, dress code, and social circles in an attempt to fit Harvard's illusive criteria.  Thirdly, is their Indian friend Maya who experiences extreme parental pressure to get into a "sticker worthy" school.  The sticker in question - the one on the car windshield, proudly announcing to the world that "my child goes to X University."  All three students live in a pressure cooker environment where every student gets the SAT question of the hour texted to their cell phones and where the Ivy League is a common goal for the top tier students (and their parents).  Amidst the Ivy League dreams is a ringer college, fictional Yates College, that was erroneously ranked as America's 50th best college, thus propelling it into the high stakes world of selectivity.  How do they become more selective - turn more students down.

All of the students experience a mixed bag of admissions decisions.  The overarching theme, however, is that the term "acceptance" doesn't just apply to admissions decisions.  In the end, the students, parents, and admissions professionals realize that self-acceptance and self-awareness is more valuable than a "fat envelope."  This is a valuable point for current high schoolers to keep in mind.  Getting into the "perfect" or most selective school should not be tied to your self-worth.  And, parents, please don't base your parental success on your child's college admissions decisions.  You are more than an application (or your child's application).

As a college counselor whose professional life revolves around this often wacky process, I am partially appalled, but not surprised by the actions and behaviors displayed by the characters in "Acceptance." I wish I could be more surprised by the intense parental pressure or anxiety felt by the students in the movie.  In reality, most students are not like those students at fictional Vernon High School and admissions deans aren't as cut throat.  After watching the film, I wanted to reach out and hug each character, reassuring them that they are all worthy students.  In real life, every student will find his/her place.  As I have said in previous posts, there is no perfect college nor a magic admissions system/equation.  Every chid is unique and will find his/her place in the world of higher education.  Our job as parents and counselors is to help cultivate that sense of personal acceptance.